I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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