'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize