you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
