make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
