the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
