margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
