Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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