If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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