Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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