Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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