what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
