Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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