And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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