some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
