next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
