Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
