Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
