After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
