Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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