They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize