so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
