Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
