now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
