while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize