in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
