Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
only you would photoshop your dick
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
