i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
