Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
