Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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