I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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