If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm determined to sit on that face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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