The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
