Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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