Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
