Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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