so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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