ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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