He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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