I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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