Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
