dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
True strength comes from lack of pants
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
