After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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