so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
