i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think your dad took our porno
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
