I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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