A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize