Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
