If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
