Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize