Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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