My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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