I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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