at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
