So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
