HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
