this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
