You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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