Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
