I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just found a bag of teeth...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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