Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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