coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
