the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
