At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
