No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
